Ferris Wheel

#481
4th September

(Source: "Ferris Wheel 3" by debsch, found at www.rgbstock.com)

This is the first post in September, as yes I would try to make any post meaningful as well.

So, this time, just a little rewind and another reflection about current situations.

No dream hint today, as I would do it during holidays lol.

Wondering when you are going to a funfair, what catches your eyes first?

Yup, it is nothing else but the giant round shape wheel that spin with its light circulating the dark sky.

Ferris wheel, as always, a well-known machinery that provided us a great view of our city for past decades.

I had a long time didn't ride on it though, but I had remembered that once entering a carriage, I had wished for the time that the wheel will stop at the highest for me.

It does for everyone, but then it will descend, and keep repeating the same circular motion.

I don't really talk much such a sensory post, but somehow my mind just told me to do so.

In my past, I had rode this Ferris Wheel for about 4 years, an uprise, climax and descend.

What am I talking about is friendship.

You see, as I said before, I was quite an annoying person, that left a lot of people felt uncomfortable or irritated about me.

But I haven't had that thought of introspection, and that's the reason why I did not done any much improvement in myself.

Every year, lost a bunch of friends, hoping to seek more the next year, but then things keep continuing in the following years.

At the end, after SPM ended, I was told by a friend that I am really annoying...

...And this is the start of a new person, death of a villain.

Even though that sounds particularly sad, but indeed I think this is what should I'd been taught for such a long time.

Fortunately, I still have other friends who still okay with me, yet the only reason is I didn't make silly mistakes on them.

This is why, I had stuck in this Ferris Wheel, and keep attempting to look for the greatest view in each round, but things just gonna descend then.

3 months of waiting for my results, I went for part-time job and tour, and that made me introspected a lot.

Knowing that I didn't get a place in Matriks, I was quite happy and relieved, mainly two reasons.

One is I wished to study Form 6 for a better pathway in future, another one is to keep away myself from the same group of persons that I felt sorry for.

Even though I got the application for the second call, but I refused, it's just the second reason, and also I had made a strong decision to continue Form 6.

I know the consequences then, again new friends and new environment, especially most of them are really different from me, which in turn they brought me out from the Ferris Wheel, and together, go for a roller coaster ride.

At first, in a new class, I was quite refused to talk much in class and didn't much interrupt anyone's topic, as I was afraid to repeat the same mistakes.

But things just get different then, it's just because I am an excellent person to them.

Like, they had finally meet a god.

I'm not bragging myself though but after a small quiz, I was flooded with questions and requests to teach them.

What I thought is normal to myself could be so excellent for them.

This was never ever happened in my past secondary life.

Since then, after I had found out the close-up, I had changed quite a lot on myself.

I had become happier, thoughtful, organised and braver.

I learnt quite a lot from them, which they thought me how should I being a person, not just a exam machine that regurgitate notes.

Indeed, they are very excellent in co-curriculum activities and at the same time, work hard when studying, even though they don't get the results that they wish for.

There's a lot of outings then, and I had become more socialised.

And also because of my parents who allowed to let me partially "free", I had no longer stuck in that Ferris Wheel.

Instead, life's going on like a roller coaster, there are ups and downs.

I didn't want to see anymore great view, I just want to experience every thrill in every inch of the track.

Moreover, most of them are very okay with the jokes (not very over jokes of cuz') I made to them, and they just laugh or just make white eyes (翻白眼).

Until now, the curse had gone, no one felt that I'm annoying or felt irritated to me.

I could just see my previous posts, quite much of them are the activities that I had participated with my current friends, and there's more soon!

So, why just sitting here and doing nothing, fill up your life with bunch of activities and keep it young, as I planned to do something during prom night, as a memory, as a closing ceremony for my meaningful Sixth-Form life.

If you the one who had stuck in the same Ferris Wheel as me, it's time to get out now.

Look, there are so much roller coaster's seats for you to ride on, and it's always free.

In the end, thanks for reading such a very long post.

Have a nice day~ :)